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What kind of “not”?
Today was a rough day with Brogan. He tested every limit, he pushed every button. He didn’t listen, he defied, he lied, he hit, he back talked, he kicked, he screamed. He got me to a place I rarely go – a place of absolute rage. We’ve had a good run of positive reinforcement induced pretty good behavior, and December brought us a “Santa scared straight” good little boy. But today was so bad that it necessitated straight punishment. He was sent to his room (and told to stay in)… and he walked out. I closed his door (and told him to keep it shut, or he was in there…
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What to do, what to do…
My son. Where do I begin. He is a charming, loving, intelligent, ball of fire… who happens to be manipulative, disobedient and slick. Oh, what a combination! Now I love my son to death, but I’m not one of those parents who thinks they have a perfect child. No, I’m the kind of parent who looks at the other parents who are forming judgements to themselves and agrees with them (audibly)… “yeah, he’s bad.” And I don’t say this because I’ve given up or I think it’s acceptable, I say this because I feel good in my skin when I am authentic. And I truly believe that my kid can…
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The Email from School
The email from school… similar to the call from school – the heart drop that follows seeing the school’s name on the caller ID – it’s not what a parent wants to see in their inbox. So today’s email from Brogan’s preschool director went something like this… I told Brogan I was going to email you to let you know about his behavior today walking to and from the library. He was refusing to acknowledge whether or not he heard us talking to him, calling his name, etc. On the way back he was walking across an area closer to the road so I called his name to stop. He…
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Leaving the warm and cozy den of ignorance
Sometimes it would be easier to live in ignorance – to be oblivious. Much easier than dealing with reality, especially when the reality is that you have made some serious mistakes as a parent. Before I was a parent, I felt certain that I would be no-nonsense. I would be tough. I had a clear vision of what was right and wrong; what was acceptable and not acceptable. With clarity like that, it should be easy to be consistent, right? Well it’s not. Before I was a parent, I knew things like “no” would mean no, period. That you don’t coddle, that you don’t give in. That you see right…
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Crime and Punishment: The Age-old Parenting Dilemma
We’re facing the age-old parenting dilemma – how do you effectively punish your children? How do you strike that balance between teaching them boundaries, respect and the difference between right and wrong, but at the same time, not make your home a no-fun zone where you are the dictator? Theoretically, we know what we’re supposed to do. You’ve got to be firm and consistent. Be loving and nurturing. We’ve been taught to count bad behavior – we’ve read 123 Magic – we’ve actually got the book and the DVD. But philosophical guidance does you no good when you are toe-to-toe with a three-year-old, and you are unwilling to let him…
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Discipline Sucks
Discipline is the worst. Why can’t kids just come out of the womb obeying all the rules? The old adage “it hurts me more than it hurts you” is so true (as a kid I thought this was total BS). It’s such a contradiction – you want to punish kids so they stop their bad behavior, but then you don’t actually want to punish them. Ugghh! Brogan is and has been quite the little button-pusher. The threat of discipline rarely deters him – we actually have to follow through. Admittedly, my husband is better at this than I am (so while he may be a participant, he is definitely the…
