One of the questions most asked of those who are expecting a child is “do you want a boy or a girl?” It’s an interesting question. You get to make a public declaration of your desire and then you get a 50/50 chance of either getting what you want… or not. And then when you already have two boys, the question morphs a little to “you want a girl this time, don’t you?” Now there is the PC answer (happy, healthy, etc.), and then sometimes there’s the real one. And by the way, who doesn’t want a happy and healthy child? As if having a preference on the sex indicates you’ve bypassed the ultimate desire of wellbeing… but I digress. I know no one means harm in the question, and by no means do I find it offensive, but it can be a little awkward. Because the truth is that yes, I want a girl. And I know there is a 50/50 chance I’ll be eating my words. But if I was writing up the “perfect” life for myself, this third child would be a girl. I mean, don’t most people want to get to experience what it’s like to raise both a boy and a girl? But the funny thing about writing out your “perfect” story – sometimes you get it wrong. Two and half years ago when I was pregnant with Beckett (and before I knew he was a he) I would have answered girl too. But if things had gone according to my plan, I wouldn’t have this precious little boy, or perhaps this opportunity to have a third child. So it’s a good thing, that despite all of my “planning”, it’s not my plan guiding my life. So I answer girl this time too, but there is an asterisk. I want a girl, but I know that a girl may not be in God’s plans for me. I may be meant to be the mom of three boys, and I am okay with that. In fact, I’m more than oaky with that – I will embrace that reality and never look back. But who knows, a girl could be in the plan too.
We find out what we’re having next Saturday, by the way.
Blake and I decided we had to know as early as possible with this pregnancy. There are countless opinions about discovering the gender – find out or wait until delivery… how early to find out… how to spread the news, etc. This will be our third time to find out via ultrasound. For me, being able to refer to the baby as a he or she, and with a name, has helped me to bond with the pregnancy (so we won’t be holding out on the name till the end either). This time there is a little more anxiety because we know it is our last time. I am truly just anxious to know what our reality is so that I can focus on being excited about it… versus getting wrapped up in my plan if that’s not what’s meant to be. We’re not planning anything fancy for the reveal – we’ll find out in the ultrasound room (with our boys), and after calling our parents it’ll be Facebook/blog official within an hour I’m sure. We aren’t real good at keeping these things a secret.
6 days to go… but who’s counting.