Now I know I don’t write too much about Beckett. The thing is, thank goodness, he doesn’t give me a whole lot to write about. First off, he doesn’t (really) talk yet. So while I’m waiting for witty little things to come out of his sweet mouth, they haven’t yet. I’ll let you know when they do. Secondly, all of his behavior issues pale in comparison to his older brother. His little outbursts aren’t nearly as bad as his brothers were, and so we feel we’ve sort of been there, done that, got the t-shirt… no soul searching, no advice needed, no pulling-my-hair-out/at-my-wits-ends diatribes.
But I’m very conscientious about the way I (we) treat Beckett in relation to his brother. I worried about this from the day I found out he was a boy… that he would constantly be compared to his brother. Because, as is with most first-born children (especially “spirited” first children), the entire world revolves around them. Now of course we are biased, and as most parents think, our first little boy was the sweetest, smartest, cutest little boy ever. And so when they said Beckett was a boy too, I prayed that he’d be able to hold his own next to Brogan. If I’m being honest, I prayed that they’d be similar in size (Brogan was a 90-percenter), in smarts, in ability, in personality. And not similar in that I wanted another Brogan (one is enough, I assure you), but that I didn’t want Beckett to be in his big brother’s shadow.
So I started thinking about the things that I would (or wouldn’t) do with my second to help ensure he didn’t grow up feeling like he was just Brogan’s little brother… in a way these things would help set the tone that he’s his own person and we love him just as much as his older brother. And when Beckett’s older looking through family albums, he’ll swell with pride because he’ll see we did as much for him as for his brother…
- The nursery – Just as I had done with Brogan, we went all-out on Beckett’s nursery. And while it would have been easier to put Beckett in Brogan’s baby room, we didn’t. He got his own room, his own theme, and while we did re-use the furniture, it was definitely his room.
- The birth announcement – I felt like Beckett deserved his own announcement. Rather than use a picture of both boys (which was really, really cute), I opted for a solo pic on the front. It may not seem like a huge deal, but I just kept thinking that he’s more than just Brogan’s brother, he’s his own person, and therefore he gets to be the star of his announcement! And the cute little picture of the two of them when on the back. Everyone’s happy.
- The clothes – Now I’m not totally crazy. Beckett does wear Brogan’s hand-me-downs most days. However, for real pictures (the ones I pay for) and holidays, Beckett gets his own brand-new stuff. Period.
- The birthday – It has yet to be decided what we’ll do when the boys turn 2 and 4 in May (their birthdays are 2 days apart), but with Beckett’s 1st birthday, he got his own party and I went all out. Perhaps even more so than with Brogan’s (really because I’ve got a disease and I can’t stop out-doing myself…)
- The pictures – You always hear, “I took so many pictures of my first, but never took any of my other kids…” I am that first of four and feel bad that my siblings don’t have as many pictures as I do when I was a baby. I vowed this wouldn’t be Beckett’s destiny. No way. And I’m proud to say that (so far) I’ve made good on that promise. I really think that I may have taken more pictures of Beckett, to be honest. The trick for me is I keep my camera out. It’s always just a few feet away and so I’m always taking pictures.
Blake has been on board with this too. He is a twin, so he has grown up trying to establish his own identity and not just be “one of the twins”.
My sweet Beckett. I feel confident that he will be able to hold his own. He is so much different than Brogan, in ways I couldn’t imagine, that I don’t worry about him like I once did. He’s handsome and funny and charming and has one of the most infectious laughs ever. He does funny things like sit on the couch and rock (a lot), and then he wants you to sit on the couch… but not next to him. Oh no, you must sit four feet away on the couch. And you must put your back against the back of the couch, as if you’re in position to rock just like he does. And I know this is what he wants because he walks over to the spot he wants you at and pats the couch… and then pats the back of the couch. And when you comply, he contently gets back in his original position and looks at you and smiles. He is going to be just fine.