The Mommy Job Description

So apparently I never saw the real job description for the mommy position.  Sure, I read the baby books that told me I’d feed them, change them and they’d take daily naps. I knew I’d love them unconditionally; I knew I’d laugh when they were silly and wipe away their tears. But somehow, I missed the fine print.

I didn’t know that feeding them was not as simple as it sounded. Who knew it was such a pain in the butt to clean bottles?  And let’s not even talk about the bottles that get forgotten in the bottom of the diaper bag for a couple days!  Oh, feeding them is the easy part, once you get past the swatting baby hand going after the spoonful of puree.  They throw up; they spit; they leave juice spots all over the carpet.  They change their minds daily about what they like; they refuse dinner, claim they’re not hungry… until it’s time to go to bed at which time they are starving!

Diaper changing was clearly stated, but somehow they made it sound like the babies stay still for this task. They don’t.  They squirm, they scream, they kick.  They have a knack for knowing the most inopportune time to give you a “present.”  I have gone back to look and the word “blowout” was definitely not mentioned!

Oh the naps. I just assumed the naps were a given. What was omitted on this topic was that in order for the naps to take place you have to fit everything you want to do within their nap schedule. Trying to make plans went something like this… “You want to hang out, sure, I’m free between 7:30 and 9, 11 and 1:30, 4 and 6.”  Because that works out, like never!

Okay, so they were spot on about the unconditional love.  It’s so true.  I live for their joy; I hurt for their pain. I want them to feel secure and loved, and can’t imagine anything that would ever change that feeling.

So the mommy job description left out some of the detail. Perhaps this was by design, because it doesn’t sound all that glamorous when you get down to the nitty gritty.  Perhaps focusing on the good parts ensures people keep applying!  And so you may ask, why do moms, once they know what it’s really all about, ever sign up for the same under-paid, under-appreciated job again?  Because at the end of the day, when your little one says, “I love you mommy” there is nothing better than that.